The Hits Keep A-Coming

My hand in the air
An important announcement:
Nobody likes you.

When he grimaces
In the midst of a sentence
He looks like a frog

Stop start stop start stop
Start stop start stop start stop start
Stop start stop start RING!!!!

Alleged teacher
Talks about the government
Is this history?

Movie time is great
Students pay no attention
Write haiku instead

Frogs and toads are green
They are the most awesome things
Now irrelevant

Islam is not bad
Or so he tells us. Again.
Again. And again.

A movie again
This is a typical class
This is so boring

So full of hot air
Bigger and bigger he grows
We will deflate him

His pants are too short
Way too much thigh is revealed
Must avert my eyes

This is not a class,
It is the time before lunch,
So why is "Pond" here?

Please don’t ask questions,
He does not know the answer
But he can stop tapes

Is "Pond" dead today?
He walks through the door again
Damn, he’s still alive

Clutches chest and gasps
Teacher has a heart attack
Students don’t notice

Our unbiased lord
He who surveys all below
What a joke he is

Oh what a martyr
Without indoctrination,
But so full of shit

Stuttering "Winston"
Blindly groping for a point
Yet, alas, he fails

Broken podium
Oh such pandemonium
Our ancient ruins

Videos daily
Eerie glow of TV rays
Do we have cancer?

Overstuffed scarecrow
A shirt pulled taut over his
Protruding stomach

I think he’s realized
We spend classes mocking him
Wait…nope, nothing’s changed

This class is better
In terms of education
If I sleep through it

A revolting smell
This room stinks of flatulence
Oh wait, that’s Brandon

Pulls his eyebrows in
Makes a very grumpy face
He looks three years old

Hand waving quickly
I do not understand it
Is it sign language?

Shitty bad classroom
The monstrous piles of papers
Behind "Pond’s" desk

Why are the lights off?
Oh right, we’re watching movies
Oh well, back to sleep

No eating in class
Such irreverence will not
Be tolerated

This lecture contains
So many tangents I feel
Like I’m in math class

Speaking as a guy
Who owns but two pairs of pants
Brandon – buy some pants!

"Pond" points at TV
He tells us to look at it
Goody. It’s a goat

Brandon, shorts and all
A three toed sloth he is
Man, or perhaps not

Happa with bared legs
Haughtily holds his head high
He I love to hate

So slowly time moves
A frustration vocalized
Gwar like whoa indeed

Eyelids become lead
I’m drifting into a daze
Sleep now sleep noww sslleeeppp

Such emphatic hands
Now who am I speaking of?
Who? Brandon or "Pond"?

Wear something else please
I wonder, do you smell bad?
You probably do

Every ten seconds
Stops movie, says: blah blah blah
I wish he would shut up

Elena’s written
What could be a haiku but
Her handwriting sucks

Gray-um is shit head
Makes fun of my heiroglyphs
Rrr, narrator brit